Fightin’ Tooth And Nail With Inanimate Objects

I have literally been up all night, fighting with my computer. Again, I say, ISN’T WORDPRESS SUPPOSED TO BE USER FRIENDLY???!

Oh it started off innocently enough. Butter wouldn’t melt in that mechanical monster’s mouth. And the site looked pretty good considering I hadn’t been on it in about three months.

But of course, I had to get nit-picky.

There was too much space between the bottom of my intro and the words to the side for my girlish tastes, so of course I dove right in, pushing buttons and saving versions of my website that got progressively worse as the night wore on.

Pretty soon, I was up to my hindquarters in misaligned words, and a format that I can’t even fathom how it got so twisted.

Then I couldn’t remember how to undo all my pathetic attempts to re-do something which should never have been undone in the first place.

Isn’t technology supposed to make our lives easier? I even forgot to feed my poor dog, Tsuki, because I was eyeballs deep in my fight with my laptop and WordPress.

If it even starts with the prefix “tech-” you can believe that I’m going to mess it up somehow or another. I’m just talented like that.

The battle royal started when I tried to make a simple .pdf file. Even a kindergartner knows how to create a .pdf file, right? Well, apparently I should go back to school and play with some blocks or whatnot, because I couldn’t do it for three straight hours – tutorials included free with the price of admission.

Then I went straight into the bowels of hell with my web site. I had that thing so convoluted by the time I was done, it looked like it was painted on by Picasso during his cubist period.

At some point during the night, I lost all my portfolio items…or did I? I’m not even sure they were on the site. Although I found words clearly using the words “portfolio,” and “items,” nothing was attached to those words.

Clicked the link and got dead air.

I’ll be the first to admit it – I stress out easily, and I was already stressed because John and I are going on what is supposed to be a relaxing cruise to beautiful Alaska in four weeks, and my passport came in with my last name spelled P-a-u-t-a-s.

And the government hasn’t yet returned our birth certificates so that I can make the white-knuckle drive an hour north in Florida traffic (I hyperventilate when I drive the seven minutes it takes me to get to my hairdresser’s) to go to Miami’s passport office so that I can hopefully get an expedited delivery of the proper spelling of my last name on a corrected passport before our cruise sets sail.

Oy vey. With my sense of direction being that I can’t find my way out of a paper bag, I don’t know how I’m going to even find the place. That is, if I even have my birth certificate back in time.

John says he’ll take pictures of the trip for me.


Meanwhile, the cruise line, Norwegian, changed all their records of my correct last name to match what’s on my passport, so I can get in and out of Canada; Victoria British Vancouver being one of their ports of call.


You think I’d be used to it by now – all the things that happen to happen to me. But no.

One good thing, my web site miraculously fixed itself around 6-ish this morning. I couldn’t possibly tell you what I did to get it whole and healthy, but I wasn’t gonna let that thing beat me…again.

I’ve probably done irreparable damage to my hard drive, but I still count this as a win.

Now if only my birth certificate will come back in time.

I live to hope.

#StayStrong, and never say never. Keep fighting the good fight. You are so worth the effort.

I care about you. Don’t give up, don’t ever give up. You are beautiful works of art. Hugs to you all. Thanks for listening to me kvetch. I appreciate you.

Appreciate yourselves. You are wanted and entirely needed.


I am a freelance writer who makes words beautiful, exciting, persuasive, concise and alive, if a little loopy sometimes. I was born in S. Korea on an army base, and traveled the world from the age of 10 months into the present day, so I know a lot about many different topics. I've spent the last 22 years (and counting) raising three children into responsible young adults, and that is no mean feat. I've been writing for as long as I can remember: fiction, non-fiction, creative writing, poetry, creative non-fiction and all that falls in between. I'm a great researcher. I am also easy to work with. If you've got a topic that needs to be written about, I can write it. I've been married for 26 years to the same man, and that's a whole topic unto itself! If you need a freelance blogger or writer, hire me. I won't let you down. Contact:,, Instagram: @vickypoutas,, Facebook: