My logical brain is missing

Clearly, there’s something wrong with my brain.

For some reason I cannot fathom, the logic side of my brain is either missing, or was put in backwards.

The picture above explains it all very clearly.

So, study it closely and then get back to me and explain it to me using Kindergarten terms.

I’m convinced the algorithms on the logic side of the picture hold the answer to my missing logical brain, if we can only solve at least one of the equations…

Maybe then we can finally close this appalling chapter of my life that:

  • prevents me from doing anything remotely techy
  • or even slightly mechnical
  • or in any order that makes sense to anyone but me
  • and from being constantly misunderstood because I don’t think like other people

I just spent four hours on Facebook, three of which I was on Facebook messenger trying to figure out how to read my unread messages.

Correction. Trying to figure out which of my messages was, in fact, unread.

I even Googled it.

“Go to ‘settings,’ ‘people,’ and (something else; I can’t remember),” the first answer proclaimed.

“No, no my friend,” the second answer bellowed.

“Use the cog wheel in the upper left hand corner of your screen, then, (insert other thing I can’t remember here.)

I’m here to tell you, I scoured that page, and there was neither a “settings” button, nor a cog wheel icon to be found anywhere in the near vicinity of said page.

Disgusted with Google, I began to quite arbitrarily hit random icons in no particular order. I managed to:

  • wave at a couple people I didn’t know
  • have two of them wave back
  • insert a giphy of a minion and send it to my daughter-in-law, who had sent me a link to “31 days of prayer for your husband”
  • take a picture of my pig-slipper clad feet
  • send that picture with the caption “me and my pigs still waiting for an answer,” to my sister, who was but one of the four people I asked how to distinguish old messages from new messages on messenger

Bear in mind that all this was happening between the hours of 2-4 a.m.

I’m almost positive that loud “pop-thwang” noise that messenger makes when a message comes through to the recipient didn’t do much to endear my friends and family to my psychic pain, coming as it did in the midst of their slumber.

That’s probably why I didn’t get one answer back.

Pure, unadulterated spite on their part, lol.

I’ll probably get lots of answers when the sun comes up, but I won’t know these answers are there since I won’t know how to tell which answers are new!

Unless, of course, I’m still awake when they come in. That “pop-thwang” noise is pretty irritating and hard to miss.

Which is exactly why I leave my phone charging downstairs when I go to sleep upstairs on normal, non-pharmacy days, when I’m not up all night:

  • blogging
  • getting lost in Facebook land
  • impulsively buying stuff on Amazon
  • registering my new electric toothbrush online so I can get the $10 off coupon for the extra brush heads I’ll need later, (takes them 6-8 weeks to send it to you, if you can believe that)
  • and, only because I just finished traveling to my sister’s house in NC-compulsively separating all my electronic device wires into separate baggies (lightening cords in one bag, cords that charge other things like portable batteries and wireless earbuds in another, and the old fashioned earbuds in yet another), that plus plugging in all the square thingies with the USB ports into the electrical outlet and making sure I had one stylus and a pair of reading glasses in my purse, along with a small, portable lipstick charger. And, two styluses, a pair of reading glasses and a glasses cleaning cloth in the drawer next to  the chair where I do most of my blogging. Oh, and the bigger portable charger in the drawer, too, so I can find  it easily next time I travel

Obviously, I don’t do this last item on my list every pharmacy/blogging day, but I had been traveling and needed to get things reorganized tonight.

Don’t ask me why I need to travel with so many wires and styluses and ear buds.

I just know the one time I leave without all my lightening cords, charging cords and earbuds, will be the time all the ones I did bring break simultaneously as a whole.

I highly recommend the portable batteries, though. They’ve saved my life more than once.

Apparently, my phone runs out of juice fast.

All I ever do on the plane is read a downloaded book, then BAM! Suddenly I’m at 25% power and the flight isn’t even over yet.

I have too many apps is what it is. I can’t get rid of them either.

They won’t come off, I’ve tried. Don’t ask.

All I’m saying is if I had a logical brain we wouldn’t be having this conversation because I would have figured out this stuff already.

Maybe it was that tree branch that fell on my head when I was a kid.

At any rate… Creativity, yay! Colors, mind pictures, joy! Logic, boo. Backwards thinking which gets me in trouble more often than not.

We all have our crosses to bear, but bear them we must, and we will prevail eventually if we keep plugging away at the problem.

Just remember to be true and good to yourself, whether you’re a logical thinker, or a creative thinker.

You are a great you.

Stay strong.


I am a freelance writer who makes words beautiful, exciting, persuasive, concise and alive, if a little loopy sometimes. I was born in S. Korea on an army base, and traveled the world from the age of 10 months into the present day, so I know a lot about many different topics. I've spent the last 22 years (and counting) raising three children into responsible young adults, and that is no mean feat. I've been writing for as long as I can remember: fiction, non-fiction, creative writing, poetry, creative non-fiction and all that falls in between. I'm a great researcher. I am also easy to work with. If you've got a topic that needs to be written about, I can write it. I've been married for 26 years to the same man, and that's a whole topic unto itself! If you need a freelance blogger or writer, hire me. I won't let you down. Contact:,, Instagram: @vickypoutas,, Facebook: