So, I was stupid anyway

I really don’t know what I’m doing. All I know

is I’m trying to put words into this post, and it comes out as a link.

Hmmm, looks like I fixed it.

Don’t ask me how.

I need an affordable tech guy who can teach me WordPress.


Just asking.

As you can see by the photo, I finally got my big, honkin’ anniversary ring.

It was considerably more than my original budget.

I asked John to raise the limit, and he said “you do what you think is right.”

To which I replied, “so that’s a ‘yes’ then?”

John: “do what you think is right.”

Me: “sooo…yes.”

And we went back and forth in that vein for a bit.

I realize it’s a bit big for my wedding set, but I love it anyway.

It’s much more sparkly than the pictures show. And that big cloud in my engagement ring doesn’t show up in real life.

I like sparkly things. As for the ring, the bigger, the better. I need the validation.

Enough about the rings, although I’m pissed I can’t get a better picture.

I’m still at my sister’s house, at least until Friday, August 10th, when my plane arrives back home in the Ft. Lauderdale area at 8:23 pm.

Come Monday, it’ll be just me and Tsuki again while John goes to work until 7-ish, leaving us alone in that cold-assed house that I can never find the motivation to leave.

My sister’s birthday is tomorrow, August 9th. I’m taking her to get her nails done.

She has so much stress in her life right now that she literally peeled off the last set of nails she had done, and picks at her ragged, misshapen fingertips with the sharp points of what’s left of her natural nails.

I fear I’m only adding to her stress by being here. Besides, I’m not depressed anymore, but she is and has been for some long time now.

And yet she opened up her home to me when I felt down and lonely and alone.

Bless her beautiful heart.

I’m never lonely here.

There’s always someone home, whether it be one of my nieces, or my 84 year old father whom she takes care of like a child, because, let’s face it, he is a child.

My sister and her husband wait on Dad hand and foot.

He says stuff like “boy, I’m thirsty, I’m going to go get me a bottle of water.”

Then he’ll just sit there.

And sit there.

And sit there.

All the while talking about water and how he’s gonna go get himself some.

Finally, someone will sigh deeply, get up and bring him a bottle of water.

His reply is always the same: “honey, you didn’t have to do that, I would’ve got it.”

But he wouldn’t have.

He would have talked about it until the next day, but he wouldn’t have actually taken the necessary steps to get that (place any object or item of sustenance here) into his possession.

I love my Dad. I’m just glad he’s living with Elizabeth (it was her choice) and not me.

Technically, I’m the older child by 5 1/2 years, so shouldn’t he be living with me?

If so, I might’ve already slit his throat in his sleep.

So, I’m glad my sister made the decision to have Mom and Dad come live with her after mom’s stroke three years ago.

Sadly, Mom passed away last year.

Dad’s still going strong, though.

I have no questions as to my own care among my three children.

They’ve told me flat out they’re putting me in a home the moment I show any signs of weakness, should I be unfortunate enough to outlive John.

It’s tough to be a Poutas.

Well, it’s past 5:00 am, and I have to be up soon since it’s Elizabeth’s birthday, so I’ll bid you goodnight/morning.

Plus, I read somewhere that a good night’s sleep is essential for your mental well-being.

Sorry this post wasn’t funny. I just wanted to show you my ring, although I feel like I’ve lost a limb now that I don’t have to search for “The Ring,” anymore.

Try to see the funny side of even your darkest moments (like what do I obsessively look for now)? It’s important for your mental health.

And bragging once in a while (when you’ve got something to brag about) has got to be mentally good for you.



Battling a mental illness is hard, and juggling several mental illnesses is exhausting.

So toot your own horn today.

You deserve it.

Keep fighting the good fight.

I’m in your corner.





I am a freelance writer who makes words beautiful, exciting, persuasive, concise and alive, if a little loopy sometimes. I was born in S. Korea on an army base, and traveled the world from the age of 10 months into the present day, so I know a lot about many different topics. I've spent the last 22 years (and counting) raising three children into responsible young adults, and that is no mean feat. I've been writing for as long as I can remember: fiction, non-fiction, creative writing, poetry, creative non-fiction and all that falls in between. I'm a great researcher. I am also easy to work with. If you've got a topic that needs to be written about, I can write it. I've been married for 26 years to the same man, and that's a whole topic unto itself! If you need a freelance blogger or writer, hire me. I won't let you down. Contact:,, Instagram: @vickypoutas,, Facebook: