Thank You For Being A Friend

To say this has been a lesson in frustration would be putting it mildly. This is the fourth picture I’ve tried to put into the post correctly, and none of them have come out right. I was trying to test this study that says you’re most creative when you’re groggy, and since I’ve been up all night, I’m pretty groggy. However, creative is not how I’d describe my frame of mind right now. I’ve got to believe it’s a glitch in my website. It can’t just be me being all kinds of tired right now. Human error. Pffft. Although it does seem to have suddenly and inexplicably started to work correctly.

It’s You Mom

O.k. well, maybe the computer just started working suddenly on it’s own. It has become sentient. That’s the answer, a sentient computer, not human error, and certainly not my error.

Anyway, I don’t have anything relevant to say. I was just testing out the grogginess theory. Apparently, they were wrong. I don’t feel any more creative than I did 12 hours ago. Again, it can’t just be me. I’m never wrong.

I want you all to know that the font size keeps resizing itself. Sentient, I tell ya. It’s Hal 2000 all over again. Before you know it, Terminators will be appearing naked on our front lawns having been transported back in time from the future where, apparently, the clothing doesn’t travel well. I’ve got my eyes open. I’m ready.

So the dogs and I just came out of the bathroom, and I thought I’d take this opportunity to thank them for being my friends (there’s a song in that). I don’t know why they love to follow me into the bathroom. Do you know how hard it is to have to concentrate on scratching a dog with each hand, one dog to a hand, and then try to pee? It gets amazingly complicated sometimes. It’s like my brain has a limit on two things at a time that it will do, but throw in that third one, and well…

And for my next non-sequitor, I’d like to announce to the world in general that I want ice cream. I mean I REALLY want some ice cream. The only problem is I gave it up so that I could justify paying a lot of money on an online course. The course works out to be roughly $6 and change a day. The ice cream is $5 and change a day, and yes, I will eat a pint of premium ice cream a day if given half a chance. I keep Ben and Jerry’s and Hagen Dazs in business, for crying out loud. What are they going to do without me? See, there’s my justification to start eating ice cream again. I’m a giver. I do what I can to keep old B & J in business. See what a decent human being I am??? Just give me some ice cream!

Now What?

Now the computer won’t unbold, and the font’s changed, not once, but twice. I think I’m going to throw in the towel on this little experiment. I still don’t feel creative. I do have heartburn, though.

Sleep tight people, (see, the font went down a notch in size again, and changed font families), either I’m going nuts or there’s definitely a glitch in the website. I’m already nutty enough, so it has to be the website. My husband won’t go out of his way to go to the store to get me ice cream because he’s doing our laundry. How could he be so selfish?

Oh, I know what it is. It’s Halloween. That’s supposed to be the time when the veil between the living and the dead is at its thinnest. There’s a ghost in the machine – isn’t that an old band or something? That’s got to be the explanation. Surprisingly, this doesn’t scare me. Surprisingly, it doesn’t surprise me. Write surprise enough times and it starts to look like it’s not a real word.

Well I know one thing. This post’s not going to make it into my writing samples file. But…oh yeah, the dogs. I was thanking the dogs for being my compadres. So who care’s if Tsuki (who is the Great Pyranees) wants to go out at 3 a.m. to bark at all the dangerous trucks who might do us some harm from over the fence while they’re on the road, it gives my neighbors something to complain about, so there’s that service we’re providing, and who cares that Blizzard, the Malti-Poo, keeps running into walls and banging against my legs with that stupid head cone thing that I can’t take off because then he’ll lick his hot spot into an infection? And who cares that Tsuki sheds enough for four dogs, and that Blizzard doesn’t even bother to ask to go out anymore, he just pees on the tile when he knows I’m not looking. Well, he is 15 years old and can barely stand, but he can and does, by sheer force of will, follow me around everywhere I go. It gets creepy sometimes. I’ll be brushing my teeth, and he’ll just be sitting there, staring at the back of my head (I know because I can see him in the mirror). I still love them both. They’re my peeps.

Finally, the end

Well I’m just glad that little experiment is over. Now I can go hunt down some ice cream and then go to sleep. I’m healthy that way. Think about it. Ice cream is just frozen milk and a little cream with flavoring. How is that any different than having a bowl of Coco Puffs with whole milk? I rest my case.

And now, I’m gonna go rest my face.

Good night everybody (even though it’s technically 2 in the afternoon). My saint of a husband put the laundry in and went out to the grocery store to buy me some ice cream.

I’m a lucky, blessed woman. And that’s the truth.

Vicky

I am a freelance writer who makes words beautiful, exciting, persuasive, concise and alive, if a little loopy sometimes. I was born in S. Korea on an army base, and traveled the world from the age of 10 months into the present day, so I know a lot about many different topics. I've spent the last 22 years (and counting) raising three children into responsible young adults, and that is no mean feat. I've been writing for as long as I can remember: fiction, non-fiction, creative writing, poetry, creative non-fiction and all that falls in between. I'm a great researcher. I am also easy to work with. If you've got a topic that needs to be written about, I can write it. I've been married for 26 years to the same man, and that's a whole topic unto itself! If you need a freelance blogger or writer, hire me. I won't let you down. Contact: vicky@vickypoutas.com, Twitter.com/@vickypoutas, Instagram: @vickypoutas, LinkedIn.com/in/vickypoutas, Facebook: www.Facebook.com/vicky.batson.poutas