Having too much information at my disposal, especially technical info is like putting a whole pack of dogs together. One lone dog is going to end up whimpering on the ground under a pile of slobbering dog drool.
When it comes to programming of any kind, that lone dog is me.
In this picture, the wall of white fur cowering on the ground is my 105 lb Great Pyrenees, Tsuki. She’s a lover not a fighter. She also seems to have had a heaping dose of cowardice bred into her Championship bloodline. To be fair, Tsuki is only playing with those other dogs, and she doesn’t know HOW to be a real dog because she’s not around other dogs a lot. Except Blizzard, and he’s 18 years old and weighs 15 lbs tops.
She can’t cavort with him because first of all he makes it very clear that his cavorting days are over, and b) she crushes him with that big, slappy paw of hers on a regular basis. I’m not sure, but I think that’s why he limps dejectedly into the house after they’ve been out in the yard together for more than 20 minutes at a time and Tsuki is feeling frisky. Takes him hours to recover.
That being said, I don’t know how to be a techie and I’ve just been told that I simply must have a child theme to go with what is apparently the parent theme of my website. I dutifully clicked the link I was given to read the “easy” instructions on how to put said child theme on my website and was immediately awash in a sea of tech jargon. I laughed, I cried, I peed my pants a little.
But what can I do? To believe the articles they provided, only a moron would operate their website without a child theme.
So I’m a technologically impaired moron who is dangerously flying by the seat of her slightly peed in pants by posting this blog post without a child theme.
Here’s the kicker, they have templates which one such as I could use… for a price. And I’m talking hundreds of dollars, here. Hundreds.
Personally, I think it’s a scam that preys against the technically autistic. They should be ashamed of themselves and their brilliant programming skills.
[bctt tweet=”I’m technologically autistic” username=@vickypoutas
See, I don’t even know what I did above. My finger slipped off the keyboard and suddenly,”click to tweet” appears. And my font went to 12 from 14.
I’m going back to bed. I’ll slog through all the programming jargon at a later date. Maybe my mind will be working on a higher plane at that time, and I’ll actually understand some of it.
I live to dream, and a life without hope isn’t in the cards for me. I know that if I don’t give up, life gets better and that one day I’ll actually know what a .PHP file is and where to put it.
Then I’ll be the dog on top of the pile.
Don’t you guys give up either. I believe in you. You’ve got what it takes to have a life well-lived. So go on. Live it.